NEW YORK, NY — Hakeem Robinson has done it again.
The 32-year-old native of New York City is now battling clinical depression after realizing the latest invite to a social gathering was nothing more than drunken insincerities.
A heartbroken Robinson spoke with The Daily Orb in an interview given from his couch, where he was binge-watching episodes of the old, non-hit sitcom, Becker.
“We were at my friend’s party and I hit it off with this guy who’s been looking for people to play soccer with. Around 3 am he got all hype and asked if we could play the next morning at 8. He really seemed serious because he was so excited and repeating that “THIS ISN’T JUST DRUNK EXCITEMENT. LET’S GET BREAKFAST AFTER.””
The two men exchanged numbers, and Robinson says that six hours later he was shivering in his cleats, alone on the soccer field, waiting for his new friend.
“I texted him to see if we were still on because I didn’t know if he was running late and he didn’t answer me until 1pm with ‘just woke up. hungover AF. raincheck?’”
Robinson says that this is not the first time this has happened to him.
In October 2012, while at a house party, he made a new friend who invited him to watch the presidential election at a Chilli’s to be “ironic.”
“I definitely watched alone that night, with a Bahama Obama and still-frozen nachos.”
While his latest brush with disengenous, alcohol-infused plans has left Robinson in a state of clinical depression, he says he’ll be ready the next time this happens.
“I guess people just get excited when they’re drunk but it isn’t always how they really feel.”