New York, NY — It’s 2021 and many Americans are happy to be back in their offices.
Millennials on the other hand, have struggled.
Sandeep Gupta, a Vice President of Marketing at Coca-Cola says his jaw dropped when one of his employees showed up to a meeting with a paper bag over her head.
Gupta says that Jennifer McGuinness, a 33-year-old senior assistant interim director on the soda giant’s finance team explained her behavior with four strange words, “my camera is off.”
“We had to let her go,” he concluded.
Elias Carreras, a Chief Operating Officer at Bank of America says he’s been having the same issue.
“Last week we had to fire a 30-year-old employee in middle-management for telling a female co-worker that he liked the way her legs looked during an elevator ride.”
The former employee, Jack Bush, told The Daily Orb that he didn’t even find the woman particularly attractive, he just couldn’t remember how to make small talk.
“It was my first time spending more than one minute in-person with someone I don’t know since 2019 and I totally freaked,” he said. “She had a skirt with a cool design on it so I was like ‘Hey nice skirt,’ but then she said ‘thanks’ and I still had two floors to go! So I added, ‘I like the way your legs look….in it.’”
Bush and McGuinness are not alone, according to a Pew Research survey, 80 percent of Americans aged 18-35 who have returned to the office have been fired for incidents of “misconduct.”
Sociologist Tarek Saad attributes this misconduct to a lifestyle made more possible by remote work.
“They don’t see their jobs as their whole lives and working remotely was perfect for that. It allowed them to skip the hollow banter that comes with working in an office for more time during working hours to pursue their other passions. How do you expect them to come back from that?”
In spite of his sensitivity to this phenomenon, Saad says he had his research assistants return to the office several months ago.
“You have to be at work and you have to be present at all times. It’s just the way it is and always will be.”
Saad is planning to fire all of his research assistants in the coming days for activities such as “watching Netflix on their lunch breaks.”