AUSTIN, TX – A busy protest schedule in downtown Austin has resulted in some confusion among local groups.
“Wait, ya’ll are anti-maskers right?” a local woman, intending on protesting the state’s recent mandate to wear face coverings in public, was overheard asking at a recent pro-choice rally held in Austin.
According to attendees the realization seems to have hit the group, who call themselves Anti-Maskers for Jesus, just after they had finished chanting “My body, my choice” in unison with the crowd. Confusingly, this has become a rallying cry for both the anti-mask and pro-choice movements.
The Daily Orb managed to reach one of the members of the group for comment, under the condition that they remain anonymous.
“Facebook said this was a ‘My body, my choice’ rally so we was all in. I started wonderin’ pretty quickly why so many people were wearing masks. And why there were so many ladies in pink. But then the chantin’ started and I got too fired up to think anymore,” said the member, “It was when that one lady turned around holdin’ a sign that said somethin’ about if she wanted the government in their pussy she’d fuck a senator. Or something like that.”
He continued to describe how the shock was even greater as members of their group are devoutly religious and condemn abortion.
“Father [name removed for privacy] says I have to go to double church for the rest of the year to make amends for being with those murdering devils,” said the member.
“You should have seen their faces,” said Ashley Miller, the woman who had been holding the sign, “They obviously weren’t wearing masks so you got to see the full shock. It was better than sex.”