Washington, DC — Americans are exhausted by the names of two prominent Republican women that have been in heavy rotation lately.
According to a Pew Research survey, the names of unqualified supreme court justice Amy Coney Barrett and violent wackjob Congress member, Marjorie Taylor Greene are among the most difficult names to get through in the history of three-part names.
The survey, which asked Americans to rank their views on famous three-part names from “Smooth as hell” to “Way too f—-ing long & awkward” included other famous names like Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Amazingly, over 90 percent of respondents ranked these three celebrities’ names as “smooth as hell.” While the data has left a number of culture writers baffled, Gerald Swanson, a local news anchor, says it comes as no surprise.
“I have f—-ed both of these women’s names up over 100 times during our broadcasts. You start saying Amy and you’re already stressing out about how in God’s name you’re also going to get through Corey…and then you still gotta say Bartlett! Ugh, it’s like smashing a bunch of rocks together. Same goes for Margerine Taylor Thomas. I’m on the letter M and just thinking, how the f—- am I gonna get through this?”
Pew is expected to roll out another poll next month gauging the public’s interest in name changes for both women.