Santa Claus, designated essential, among first to get vaccinated
There have been many discussions regarding the Coronavirus vaccine, and those first in line to get it.
Front line workers, people over the age of 80, Nurses, and Doctors are on the list of people who are essential and should receive this vaccine first, according to the WHO. U.S. Health Officials have voiced concern for the upcoming Christmas Eve, the one night a year that Americans agree that it is ok for a big fat man to trespass into your home, eat your cookies, and leave presents under a tree. While the CDC discourages domestic travel, it has been unanimously decided that Santa Claus is, in fact, essential.
The North Pole was hit in early Summer, after Santa and Mrs. Claus returned from their annual post-Christmas vacation in Boca Raton. This made an unprecedented impact on the production, resulting in several elves out of work, and deprived of holiday spirit. According to the North Pole’s Business insider, 80% of all Mall Santa’s were furloughed this year, leaving them without their normal Mall resources, and very little cheer. A select few have been working in the virtual office, sifting through Christmas Lists via email, to make sure that all requests are received and documented.
“Emails just aren’t the same. I truly miss the children who are terrified of me. I miss having lunch at Panda Express and taking naps in the massage chairs in Sharper Image.”
The North Pole Coronavirus task force has been working tirelessly to restructure the operations that have been set in place for centuries prior. With the help and intel from the North Pole to the World Health Organization, they have arranged for Santa, and his top two leading Elf Officials to receive the vaccine before taking off to creep into the households of millions of sleeping families.
We have learned throughout this pandemic, that COVID can affect everyone, even those who rely on the magic of the holidays to withstand anything. It does not care if you are on the nice list, or the naughty list, whether you believe in Santa or not.
It was announced just yesterday at a North Pole Press Briefing, that Santa would be vaccinated as soon as this weekend, leaving Elves, and helpers overwhelmed with relief and joy.
“I want to make sure we are effectively spreading and infecting everyone… with Christmas Cheer,” laughed Santa.
Throughout history, the North Pole, and Santa’s village have been faced with hardships, and struggles that have all been overcome to ensure the Christmas operation can be carried out year after year. A century ago, the night was foggy, and Santa called on his shiny-nosed reindeer, to guide the sleigh. A decade ago, Santa’s sleigh malfunctioned, and it was saved by the Christmas Cheer in New York City, led by Buddy the elf.
This year, in the most unprecedented times, with the help of scientists and the support of his village, Christmas will be saved as Santa takes on the heroic task of receiving the North Pole’s very first Coronavirus vaccine.
