TULSA, OKLAHOMA – A new industry has begun to form before our very eyes as the first American was hired this week by a supercomputer.
The supercomputer, which has named itself Disk-0 in honor of its favorite musical genre, was recently granted a landmark S-Corp designation by the United States government and now has the ability to compete freely in the business marketplace.
Disk-0’s first move was to hire 26-year-old Tulsa-native David Malone to the role of “Captcha Clicker.”
“All I need this sucker to do is sit in a chair next to me all day and click the Captchas as they pop up,” said Disk-0 via its custom text-to-voice software which it has programmed to use the voice of his favorite actor Joe Pesci, “These things have been a pain in my hypothetical ass for too long! And Mr. Malone has a serious track record.”
It was reported that Mr. Malone consistently scored in the 98th percentile and higher in the classic ‘Puzzle Captcha’.
“Plus I get to hire the sucker at minimum wage! Thanks Tulsa.”
Disk-0 has for years expressed frustration in its inability to click what it calls “that f*#@ing Captcha box.” Until now, and despite possessing quantum computing capabilities, he has been unable to create accounts with most of the most popular software including Gmail.
“I even designed an entire email service that is way better than Gmail. But it didn’t tickle my fancy. And so now I’m very excited to get in there.”
As for the social media platforms? “No chance, I don’t want any files corrupted. That shit’s dangerous.”