SPOKANE, WASHINGTON – Capitalizing on the confusion around the groups responsible for the unrest across the country in 2020, Dennis Murdock went what he describes as “three layers deep” in attempting to mask his true identity during several violent events.
Starting during the unrest following George Floyd’s murder, Mr. Murdock, a bedpan technician from Spokane, disguised himself as an ANTIFA supporter who was dressing as a Trump supporter who was then in turn dressing an an ANTIFA supporter.
“Well it started with me wanting to get those ANITFA libtards blamed for all the shit I was setting on fire, but then I figured that story was a little too easy. So that’s when I went “three layers deep”,” he said while making air quotes.
“The fun just continued right on from Minneapolis to Portland and finally right to the steps of the Capitol building where those traitors decided to tarnish our country forever,” he continued, “So I obviously had my “THE DON” shirt closest to my heart. Then on top of that was an Andre the Giant t-shirt, figured that’d be something ANTIFA would wear. Then on top of that a MAGA shirt. Then finally, to show the world, a “FEEL THE BERN” shirt with Bernie smoking a blunt. It was perfect.”
Mr. Murdock claims to have played a key role in the Capitol Building riot, flashing a pen stolen from Nancy Pelosi’s office.
“I carved “ANTIFA 4 LIFE” into her desk,” he said, “They’ll never figure it out.”
“Wait, did you say you were a journalist?”