SALISBURY, MD – In light of the release of the last fifteen years of President Donald Trump’s tax returns, many of his supporters remain unmoved and say it will take a lot more than that to sway their vote away from him.
“I’m confused as to why the mainstream media thinks this is a big deal,” said Trump supporter Ryan Samuels, “The guy is doing what we all wish we could do. Getting rich, not paying taxes and banging a hot foreign chick. And you want me to get mad at that?”
When asked if there was anything President Trump could do that would result in Mr. Samuels withdrawing his support, he replied, “Hm, gosh that’s a good one. I’m thinking either he gets a #BlackLivesMatter tattoo on his face or, hm, let me think here. Oh you know what, if he disemboweled an newborn infant live on TV that would be pretty bad. I like babies. But if I’m being honest that might not even do it for me. Yeah not much.”