PHOENIX, ARIZONA – The Daily Orb obtained an exclusive interview with Donald Bayo, a local software engineer and member of Arizona’s Democratic party, who is claiming that Donald Trump’s America is history. He spoke to us from what has been his primary residence since Joe Biden took office, which is in the desert with his head buried in the sand like an ostrich.
“Oh yeah, Trump’s America is a thing of the past,” said Mr. Bayo, a nervous half-smile apparent even with his head completely buried in the sand, “Ever since Joe Biden took office everything has been just great. Perfect even. Things are fixed. We’re good, nothing more to see here! We can all move on with our lives because we will never see the likes of Donald Trump again.”
When asked about the numerous GOP-led state and local initiatives to redistrict House races, further restrict voting in key swing states and further perpetuate the falsities surrounding the 2020 Presidential Election, Mr. Bayo was fervent in his response.
“LOOK, EVERYTHING IS FINE OK. EVERYTHING IS PERFECT. JOE BIDEN IS HERE AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING BUT IT’S GREAT OK,” he exclaimed, taking a moment to regain his composure, “I mean, you don’t think the GOP would take both the House and the Senate in the mid-terms, do you? I mean, that’s not possible…right? PLEASE TELL ME IT’S NOT POSSIBLE. AND THEN FOR GOD’S SAKE TELL ME THAT HE…HIM…THAT FILTHY DORITO WON’T RUN AGAIN IN 2024. FOR GOD’S SAKE PLEASE TELL ME!!”
By this time Mr. Bayo had turned hysterical and was crying uncontrollably.
“So you’re telling me that there are STILL people who like him? I don’t believe it. Nope not for one second,” he said, burying his head deeper in the sand, “Joe Biden won and that’s it, the world is saved. Things couldn’t possibly get even crazier next time around. That’s not even possible…