WASHINGTON, DC – Despite a clear victory for now President-Elect Joe Biden in the 2020 Presidential Election, President Trump and his army of supporters are exhausting every possible avenue in an effort to gain the administration a second term in office.
Having found no evidence of widespread election fraud in any state, the administration has potentially turned to some unorthodox methods of claiming victory.
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo addressed thes methods yesterday in a press conference, “In the name of American Democracy, we are trying to figure out a way for the better candidate to stay in the White House. He’s an unorthodox guy so we’re looking into unorthodox methods, nothing wrong about that! Plus there was clearly rampant voter fraud in all the states we lost. But props to those states we won where it looks like counting was perfect!”
The latest rumors have suggested the Trump administration may attempt to rig Electoral College votes in battleground states by using courts to prevent those states from certifying the election results, leaving GOP-controlled legislatures to step in the void and send pro-Trump Electors to cast their final vote for the President, despite the fact that their state’s majority voted for Joe Biden.
“Look we’re just trying to let the voices we think we should be heard, be heard,” said GOP Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell as he slowly chewed on a piece of lettuce that had been place in his terrarium.
More insight as to whether or not the Trump administration will pursue this totalitarian route will become clear in the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Buckle up.