Women cancels order for Ouija board after realizing she’d been robbed rather than visited by a ghost

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – A woman has cancelled her order for a Ouija board after realizing that it was not paranormal activity that resulted in her belongings being moved slightly out of place in her room, but rather a thief who had broken into her apartment.
“I’m an overly OCD person and never leave anything out of place in my room,” said 27-year-old Manhattan resident and social media strategist May Means, “My drawers are never open, clothes and shoes never out of line. So when I walked into my room I could immediately tell something was wrong and after asking my roommates if they were messing with me, my first instinct was that I’d be visited by a ghost and immediately ordered a Ouija board to try and communicate with the aggrieved spirit.”
“But then,” she continued, “I saw my laptop was gone. So I cancelled my Ouija board order.”
Ms. Means had in fact been robbed, the thief stealing her laptop in addition to some jewelry belonging to her roommates. The women filed a police report with the NYPD.
“This bitch girl must have had a very rough upbringing to have her first instinct be to look for a ghost upon the first sign of forced entry in New York City,” read the NYPD official report.